i dont really know who to tell this too because i just would hate to reach out to someone, thats just kinda how i am, but basically all my life has been pretty boring and mid and just very uneventful, in the summer of 2023 my brother was depressed over a breakup and tried to murder his ex. it flipped my life upside down. i never cried, i ignored it and i put it off. i always had time to think and think and think, and whenever i brought up some of the creative things i thought about during my free time, locked away in my room (because if i was out in public, people would be assholes and interview me, etc), i would simply just think and i think that was not good for me. im not really lonely and my life is far from boring nowadays, but i feel so distant from the world. during fun moments, i just dont feel happy. i try to connect with God but idk why it feels weird, and it just feels almost as if its a cult. i think too much and i just dont know why i feel this way. im quite young too i have to add. i dont want to be sad but i just cant be happy and i dont know why, everything goes by so fast and hangouts with my friends just arent fun anymore. might i add, i’ve never smoked or drank in my life so there’s no way its withdrawal or derealization caused by alc/drugs. i just want to get better and maybe someone can help me
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