I just realized that, honestly, I don’t know what love is and I am not sure I’ve ever given it out properly. I think I’ve probably been cosplaying what I think love is. I think I am just a selfish self absorbed fuck. But, because of this, I’ve never allowed myself to get into a relationship and make someone miserable, so I’ve been alone, living with my parents for the last 14 years and they are not people that I can have a conversation with without it devolving into harsh judgement of our views. I am slowly going insane and talking to myself since there’s no one else to do so with and I’ve slowly ballooned in weight and now look as ugly as I feel. Not sure what will become of me as I can’t seem to make this misery end.
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