I fantasize my lover cheating on me with a woman (we’re in a homosexual relationship and he is bi). I fantasize him leaving me and having a life with another.
After masturbating I cry myself to sleep at the thought of losing him and him holding the hand of another. I don’t know how to stop and can’t help thinking of myself as a monster. I love him so much that it hurts. I get so jealous that it excites me and it hurts.
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