The never ending pain of sibling abuse…the trauma of revenge….
Long ago, in our childhood my older sister would hold me to as we tried to fall asleep in the car outside a bar 😦 she’d get in trouble if anything happened to me so she had to… then a cousin came to live with to escape abusive parents.
…life behind a closed door, far from the family. In the house , my home I was replaced by a prettier 🙂 smarter 🙂 popular 🙂 “sister”… even a house fire didn’t burn her away…1980
She was the doll who had replaced the stupid ugly blind sister for an entire childhood… I hated her to the death and wished her dead my whole childhood. 🙁
I remember how the 2 sisters stood together, eyes on me like poison laughing loudly at my mere existance making the real monster raging under their noses look like a comical idiot, one they could not wish away when they synchronized their breath to laugh at me 😦
🙂 “I’ll tell about the tape….” 🙂 I hear her say this to me in a pretty voice all these decades later. :D. Her “sister” doesn’t remember the tape…but she was there as I waited to die from a bad heart. They would be free of me and I’d be free too 🙂
My finger now taps across the page, filled with memories of the words…. how I was maybe to blame for the house fire and that her older “sister” wanted to leave me in there… but the tape was destroyed…and then the dying sister survived the bad heart 😦
The tape 🙂 was mostly just dirty jokes and hard rock songs but some “hocus pocus spells” such as using someone’s picture like a voodoo doll? Or turn on all the water in the bathroom then turn out the light and you see the candyman lol is all I remember… 😦
I had been withdrawn from private school for behavior problems and rumors of witchcraft 😦
The replacement sister died on July 17, 1995.
She had been in a coma since her car lost control in a curve in the early morning hours of July 15, 1984. Not wearing her seatbelt, she was thrown from her car and her head hit a utility pole. Running scared…that someone might steal/stole her stupid boyfriend… 😦
Remembered her there, in ICU, the beautiful golden haired, blue-eyed “sister”. From birth to graduation, She was called “Doll.” Beautiful inside and out, smart and funny. Now she lies in her bed, fingernails and toenails perfectly polished… Eyes were on her like poison 😦
She was on life support, the front side of her hair shaved and the stitches mark the place where they removed part of her skull as her brain swelled. One cut on her chin that didn’t even require stitches is her only other injury.
So, though I have been able to see good enough justice few years later, that she was finally gone… it still hurts… at least she lived her last year’s with her real family 🙂
So “sisters,” your Sidekick through life, I haven’t been kicked out nor down, I’ve only been side-stepped now and again by the man we call Daddy. He’s proven his worth… 🙂 he’s still around 🙂 For the sister he favored 🙂
I still don’t remember what I did…but all apologies from the unforgiven, unforgieable…
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