So, I am 23f and have been interested in this one language since I was a teenager. I got into the languages culture, was very excited about it. Me and my friend set to learning how to do it. Said hello and goodbye and thank you in this other language. I felt pretty cool about that, most of my other classmates didn’t know such things. I learned the alphabet, which some say is hard, back when I was in school. I’ve spent ages finding material I would actually like to learn. But it appears I like learning key phrases better than interacting actually.
So, I met this one person who was studying the language, like me. And they were… I pulled out a phrase I knew, they responded… and I had no answer. I didn’t understand. And a part of me looked at them and thought they just seemed so… dissapointed. It was like my whole effort was suddenly nothing to them. And I was inspired and wanted to talk more but it just, they didn’t seem to want to. They didn’t interact with me after that.
I still struggle really hard to learn more of this language, but there is this sense that I’m not good enough for anyone. Nobody wants to practice with me, nobody encourages me, and it makes me sad. Makes me feel like it is all so pointless. Logically, there is no reason to learn this language. My friend moved away, and they encouraged others to not interact with me on it. I don’t have many friends. It really hurts, you know? I just needed to tell someone.
I confess I thought I was learning enough of this language for people to be proud of me. But nobody seems to be, nobody is. I confess that I almost wished I hadn’t wasted so much time on it. It feels like my life would be better if I didn’t learn it at all. If I never focused on it. If I just let it go.
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