Love is confusing

I think I’m in love with my best friend Razor I seriously think i love him. he gives me so much attention, he hugs me, holds my hand, cuddles me etc. we act like a couple although were not and, i just crave to kiss him. Hes so beautiful, his eyes, his lips his smile everything. Im in love with him but i dont know to do because i have a boyfriend but i also love him so very much, but Razor treats me so much better than my bf and its confusing me. i dont know who to choose. i just, love him so so much, i crave his kiss, his touch and to just see him im seriously in love with him hes such a pretty boy. hes obviously not interested in me though and is clearly disgusted by the thought of dating his best friend. were both dudes, hes gay and im pansexual. were on call together as i write this. he said and i quote “I rather suck my own d*ck than date (my name)” i wish he would love me too, i just want him to love me. he makes me so confused because he only acts all touchy with me. it hurts, so much. i love him so much it hurts. i want him to love me too. its not fair i want him to be in love with me i want him to want me too i just want him to wanna be with me. i want him to kiss me. even if its just once. Razor i really love you..

What do you think?

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feelings are so ????

Doorway