I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life. While I don’t fully regret all of them, I’m not proud of them either. The older you get, the more you realize things from different perspectives. You also grow to hate yourself, cringe and worse. I’ve tried killing myself over some of it but perhaps the best payback is living with it. I do as I’m still unfortunately here.
I’ve tried to confess to people and they don’t want to hear it. It’s honest and true as I cannot and don’t lie but because of my past I understand why people assume I am. I was diabolical, devious and I hid in the shadows while others got blamed. I would confess only to be laughed at. I realized people are stupid, or I’m perhaps lucky. Why should I care? I still do.
Do you wanna talk about it?
I agree with the one part where you say when you get older, you grow to hate yourself because you see certain situations in a different light.