So , there was this person I had met a while back , let’s call him F. I first met F when he went by she/her though that’s hardly important. Anyway , we met during a scout trip and didn’t speak for a few years. During that time I’ve been in a commited relationship with a woman I’ve known since childhood and I love dearly. So anyway , me and Fanis slowly reconnect and eventually become friends. During a few hangouts I start getting some hints. When we’re alone he wants to cuddle. When we were with my gf she got flirty. It was clear there was some chemistry , so I proposed a polyamorous thing and it felt amazing. I had two girlfriends, and F’s sexual experience boosted my confidence because he claimed I was better than them. I felt good. Alas , F had his red flags and I closed my eyes , though to be honest I didn’t listen to him either. Things ended with an exchange of harsh words. I’m still with my gf , I always will be but there’s this nagging thing I’ve had ever since the polyamorous thing began. I wanted to be someone F would never forget , and now I feel like I lost a friend. I’m deeply conflicted. Sometimes I wish we could be friends again. Sometimes I wish I never knew him. I just wish there was some indication he still thinks about me. I’ve left out a lot but the bottom line is I’m conflicted emotionally.
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