I attract bad people and although I’m not looking for such people, I know likely why. Damaged people. Being damaged with multiple disorders, I’m attracted to people that normally don’t judge me or flee when things aren’t simplistic in nature. They also are the “real ones.”
Funny thing on the latter is a narcissist did the latter but it’s what they do anyway right? she was a horrible human being and a train wreck of a girl but I am a disaster of a human being or have become one. I’m a prick and a wiseass prick at that who is out of control in his own ways but it’s two horrible disorders taking over and meds made them worse than they once were.
I feel it all and want to buy that gun I so loathe. I’d screw that up to much like with the wires, belts, electrical appliances, pills and so on. Maybe in another life I’m being punished if you believe that crap. I honestly wonder how and I’m more self aware than anyone. Damaged goods, cursed and so on.
Sure, I’ve been with a couple sociopaths because they were so hot and yes available because of what they were. At the time, k didn’t care as much as I was fascinated. Those ones are on me but what if this other crap? You don’t need to be nice for these people to be attracted to you. The sociopaths sensed I understood them, I knew what they were at a very early age long before the net existed but it’s not rocket science.
I was intrigued yet with one also horrified. They saw me as a curiosity also or claimed to as I didn’t judge but knew I was similar to them. I’m an impulsive, compulsive enigma of a man and one hiding behind a smirk to not let him get the better of me but if need be and nobody would do the job I’d not hesitate to both a body or two. Truth. I’ve done worse before needing to dig a hypothetical grave or two. Why it’s just digging over leaving DNA Al over a rapist’s face you beat in and left to die, it’s all so pointless and true which makes it worse. In a timebomb now and that clock is a ticking.
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