This is getting untenable. Don’t think I can be your husband for another 20 years. Want to be your friend but don’t think I can be the husband you want. Here’s why…
YOU DON’T RESPECT ME…
– Always overtalking me
– Loud when I’m trying to sleep
– Correcting me with attitude
– Talking when I’m reading or watching something I want to watch as if what I’m doing doesn’t matter
– Endless passive-aggressive comments when driving or doing anything
YOU DON’T APPRECIATE ME…
– Just assume I’ll always stick around no matter how you treat me (remember all the insults in Summer 2022? Any other person would be running for the hills)
YOU DON’T TRUST ME…
– You treat me like I’m cheating on you, I never have
– You got upset when I asked why you’d read the letter addressed to me from our son from boot camp before I could; you said I was being secretive
—why on earth would you be upset and jealous of MY relationship with my own son? I’m not jealous of YOUR relationship with him
YOU GIVE ME ANXIETY WITH YOUR ANXIETY…
– I have to walk on egg-shells b/c I have no idea when I’ll say something that will set you off
– If I DON’T say anything, it’s bad; if I DO say something, it’s overreacted to
– Always in fear that I’ll upset you and feel like I need to apologize even if I don’t know what I said to upset you
– Work trips are never as enjoyable as they could be b/c you’re always overly jealous and constantly texting me
YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO CONTROL…
– Guilt trip me if I don’t want to do something that you want to do
– Never allow me any alone time, or think I’m up to something if I want any alone time
— Only alone time I get is when I’m driving or working out
– If I go out to do something without you, you guilt trip me. It’s like you can’t abide a good time if you’re not involved with it
– Multiple times through the years putting me through “tests” that you’ve planned in your mind and if I don’t answer “correctly”, you get upset
WE BOTH DRINK TOO MUCH…
– Neither of us are happy here so we drink
I’VE LOST MYSELF IN THIS MARRIAGE…
– Don’t even know what my goals are anymore
– Don’t have any hobbies anymore
– Feel like we’re better as friends than as husband/wife
Life is too short to spend it feeling this way. Act on it before it’s too late. Get out.
I’m in the same boat.
Hey “in the same boat”, what are you doing to manage it?
She would be the perfect wife for me! A strong dominent to serve.
couples therapy – find a good no-bullshit therapist… a woman may be more trusted by her than a man and most of them are very fair and will call out the behavior you are citing… I’ve had a similar situation for 10 years and I feel your pain almost exactly. doesn’t help that I feel I don’t deserve better, but that’s the thing, you have to act and make it better – if therapy doesn’t work (couples or just for you), then it may be time to consider separation.
I want assembling useful info, this post has got me even more info! .
Same situation here, 21 years. Counseling finally agreed after 20, but I lost all other connections and now have too much trauma/baggage to make new friends. Guilty about the regret I feel for being here 2 decades, feeling guilty for not feeling guilty enough.