I had this childhood friend from when we were six and we were never really close until we both got into anime around 4th-5th grade. We were super close and I liked them in seventh grade a lot so I wanted to know everything I could about them. But at the same time I hated them in every aspect and way of their existence. I hated the way they walked, they talked, they dressed, their face, etc. etc. like mfin kendrick ong. It was really weird but like even though we were “friends”, I would hit them every day, shit talk them, insult them to their face and because I wanted to make them completely mine, I forced them to give me their ipad and phone password, I guessed their school account password, got into their hulu, their spotify, everything I could and never told them. I eventually got into their instagram in the name of trying to find out if they were shittalking me and I ended up reading all their dms with other people whenever I could. I was creepy as shit. In more of the bullying aspect, a friend of mine that also didnt like them and I decided that over the summer break between 7th and 8th grade right before school started, we’d post a slideshow with a ton of messed up shit they’d done because, admittadly, they weren’t the best person either. We posted it and on the first day of school everybody fucking hated them and they had no one to talk to. I was unbelievably happy but continued to be nice to them. I wanted them to feel like I was the only person in the world who could ever like such a disgusting person like themself. I destroyed their social life to the point where the only person who would speak to them was their other childhood friend who was in the 6th grade. During this time, I had also made a fake account where I pretended to be someone completely else and made it look super legit by getting real mutuals n stuff and catfished them for four months on it. We had a field trip that year to a place with a carousel. The carousel had enough room for our entire friend group. I didn’t mean to exclude them but when I saw them look at every single person we knew, I felt so unbelievably happy to know that I had more than they did. I was always jealous. They were always better at socializing than I ways, had better grades than I did, was better at everything than I was. I was supposed to be the art kid, not them. but then on that carousel when I was with people I knew better than they did, with more people than they did, I was so so so happy and I took a picture. They were also heavily depressed and like cut themselves n shit and um I kinda encouraged it… I also prayed on their downfall every day and cultivated more social skills because during that time I was so sos so ssoosososososoosos happy because everyone they knew, knew me better. Everything they did, I did better. I was funnier than they were, more popular than they were, more likable than they were, smarter, skinnier, prettier, i was better than them in every aspect of their existence and yet I still hated them. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I don’t like telling people because like duh I don’t want mfs thinking Im an awful fucking person which i am lol but like it also feels like shit to keep it all bottled up smh yeah ok the end!!!
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