When me and my little sister we’re kids I used to play with her in a way which I now find strange and makes me feel guilty. I remember that we used to sit on a bed and then I used to Kick her with both my legs (alternating). My intention was not to hurt her physically or mentally. She never got hurt or felt bad. She trusted me. The thing that makes me guilty is that I used to kick her right between her legs. I never felt bad about it at that time prolly cus I was not aware of private parts. The reason I did that cus I thought that is was a fun little game in which I used to annoy her. Honestly everytime I think about it I feel of harming myself. I feel like cutting off my lag and hitting my balls very hard. I willing to do it right now. I honestly feel like asking for forgiveness or tell it to someone but I’m afraid to tell. She and I right t now have a decent relationship I’ve also decided to give more time to her.
But honestly it really makes me feel depressed.i don’t feel like doing anything.
Im not enjoying what I used to enjoy. I couldn’t even focus on studies. But now I’m hoping that everything will be fine.
Drop it.
We all do stupid things as kids.
If she ever brings it up, tell her you are sorry for the ignorant way you behaved as a kid. And show he by your courtesy, consideration, and resp,ect how much you care for her now.
Practice not obsessing about it, and do your best from now on.