So. I thought I was past all of this. But the disabled friends hubby got my online stuff looked at. So. I watched scary movies on TV to mentally deal with PTSD from my childhood. Same for R rated movies. I looked at R rated or whatnot pics on computer. But were all legal. I was only trying to conquer all the PTSD caused by being sex abused and assaulted as a child, so as to be closer to my wife again. Was that so wrong? It was working. I was alone when I saw it. It was working. You must understand that after having a simple physical I would start shaking. Pull over my car. Shake uncontrollably. Pee my pants. Perhaps throw up. Well I was defeating that. In many ways I cannot grow up. But suddenly her friend (who was taking advantage of her) husband showed up in our life. He seemed to be using her & rude. So I blew him off. Next thing you know my spouse is upset about my net use. Well. I had done nothing wrong. She said she may have to divorce me over it. I said its all legal. Well… the past. Oh yes. The past. Time had expired on that. Well life won’t release us it seems. She said she had to divorce me to save me. I said lets get a lawyer. So. It went away. But we divorced for other reasons. My kids fell apart. She fell apart. I fell apart. So. How to survive. So. I end up in a store that seems to be linked to the first.
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