Are we ok?

This is more of a rant than anything else but oh well. To start this off I just wanted to let you know that I love a lot, you’re one of my best friends and someone I really value the company of. I don’t know if I’m that person to you though, you have a lot of really good friends that you seem to just hang out with all the time and have no problem talking to them for hours. I may have been one of those people once upon a time but i don’t know if I am anymore. This is through no fault of your own it just seems to be a recurring thing that happens to me. It seems like everyone is my best friend but I’m not anybody’s. For you it feels like you replaced me with A and I can’t be mad at either of you for that. It seemed to happen naturally and I just fell behind into an afterthought. It only started recently where I noticed it but when it did it made me upset just because I realized what was happening. When I wasn’t even considered as a roommate for y’all at the state trip and everyone just assumed that I had a room when in reality I had no one, when you told me that we would hang out one night and have dinner after you dropped A off at home but you never texted me because you just stayed there, every time we hang out I feel like we can’t go a few sentences without her being brought up or talking about something y’all did, and when you started talking with D and A and didn’t come sit down with us at lunch or walk with me like we usually do. Again I can’t be upset at you for any of this but I just never am able to keep a steady friendship. In eighth grade at my birthday party when only one person was able to make it and she spent the entire time on FaceTime with a boy and I spent the night on the couch with my dad. On prom night when you offhandedly commented that we can’t accept that people miss someone enough to want to see them everyday it’s mainly because I’ve never had the chance to. I’ve never been able to just talk to someone for hours and it seems to drive people away when they realize that. I’ve never had someone want to spend every day with me and that’s just something I’ve accepted by now and I know that’s it’s unlikely I’ll ever have something like that. You are that person to me but I just don’t happen to be that person for you and that’s okay. I still love you and consider you my best friend even if you don’t think the same of me.