I had a really great friend for almost ten months, or so I thought. She and I worked together initially and then drifted a little as we worked in different departments and this saw less of each other.
I thought we were personal friends, she apparently thought we were work friends. I thought we were personal friends because she’d call and we’d talk, first about work and then like anyone else you’d drift into other things. She remarked about being at work so often it was taking a toll on her family and her husband was increasingly upset. I worked extra shifts just so she wouldn’t have to and could go home to be with her family; I’m single so what did I care. But during those extra shifts she’d call or later as things cooled she’d text and we’d chat…
The biggest reason I thought we were personal friends was when she called me at 1am. Wokee up and cried on the phone about her husband being troubled for some three hours. Now mind you, you don’t tell your work friends much about yourself and you tell your personal friends everything. She could’ve called her parents, her siblings, his parents or his siblings but she called me.
I’d have moved heaven and Earth for this girl. It was never my intention to come in between her and her husband. But I guess the morals here are these – 1). Communication is key. We didn’t communicate early about the type of friendship nae both wanted (work vs personal). You need to communicate. 2). Be careful or your actions and the precedent that they set. You can’t call and talk endlessly, you can’t call in the dead of night of a personal nature and then claim to be looking for a work friendship. Actions have consequences. Actions can lead to confusion.
Oh, and one more thing. When someone calls or texts, answer for goodness sake. Maybe you’re busy and you let it sit for a bit, but it’s a major peave for a lot of us when calls and texts to unanswered. Just answering alone might’ve kept me from spiraling off and ultimately destroyinty friendship with this girl…
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