bloody foods -my fears over prions diseases and illogical fear of touching meat

I have had a strange fear about being contaminated by meat , raw or cooked since a child. I nearly died when I seen my cousin pick meat up with her hands off the table to clean where us kids had been and I was like “Oh my god how can she touch that, its poison! ”
sort of look on my face. I never liked touching food as a child as well and would opt to wipe up over washing up for fear of touching food bits and being contaminated by them. It never dawned on me I swallowed it. I just couldn’t bare the food bits and seen it as germs. It took til I was in my late teens or early 20s to bare washing up and touching food bits in washing up water. I could cook ok but hated touching meat and cutting it and I even had to get a friend at school to cut it for me one time in home economics in my schooling years I was so obsessive and it was embarrassing to hide the disorder or phobia hang up. I cut up the onions for me and her instead happily crying away so not to touch the meat. I still have hang ups today about meat and seeing it in packs in shops and I hate those suction bags its a turn off and also that prions disease is rampant in uk, etc and most people dont know it. from all the meat bi products from mad cow. The doco I seen said mad cow was first found in 1920s and disappeared and then sheep got a similar illness but was said not to effect humans (YET< THAT THEY KNOW OF) and now how mad cow got spread to kids and how it was in so much pet foods, make up and tallow and all kinds of things. and remixed with the food chain to animals who should never had been carnivores and I am so worried I have it. wet brain is one of the symptoms and you can get it from prions /mad cow, magic mushrooms, snake bites, alcoholism, poisons from toxins like moulds and mildew and other diseases like MS , Hodgkin's and huntingtins etc and brain tumors even if not cancerous, hiv aids, syphilis and other STD's and more. One time I got a ear infection from raw meat blood on my hands and people wonder why I can't stand blood foods much. Now I am worried for my pets for the foods made in france and china. etc. not just myself. The foods like stock cubes, any soup mixes, canned meat residues, sausages, other by products like fabric softens etc. co-enzyme products. the list goes on and on! like my irrational anxieties.

What do you think?

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good bye and good luck

in the shadows