I ended up gaining a bit of weight regardless but I was in a setting where snacks were readily available and binge drinking and having munchies were glorified. First I would throw up regardless if I was too drunk or not just because it was a cover up to purge. Then I started smoking. I felt guilty like I couldn’t control the munchies so I would eat past the point of comfort and excuse myself to “shit” but in actuality I just threw up. I’ve had a history of eating disorders but now im scared the binging and purging has causing irreversible effects on my body that will show later. Like anorexia, everything was fine and I had control of the situation until I was too scared to eat because I knew uncomfortable bloating happened. I gave myself IBS from it which didn’t present itself until months later.
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