I’m gonna tell him. I know I’ll lose him, but he deserves to know. I haven’t been normal. I love him way more then I should but god, how could I not. He’s the best person I’ve met in years. He’s been there for me longer than anyone else – It’s like I owe him the infatuation, in a weird way, I don’t know.
I can’t keep being miserable like this. I hate this. Every second of it. Teenage love is so goddamn overrated, this is torture. It’s nothing like people describe it to be. It’s like someone’s set me on fire for months straight.
So here I am. Reading texts between him and his boyfriend, again. He won’t dump him. I’m an idiot if I think he’d leave him for me. It’s wrong to want that but I do. I’m human. I’m jealous.
I’m telling him and I know for a fact he might never speak to me again. I’ll probably send the letters I wrote and actually say it out loud. If I’m gonna lose him I may as well be brave, not like I was before.
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