I have major trust-issues. Whenever someone tells me to do a favor, or asks a certain question that rubs me the wrong way, all I can do is question their sincerity and mentally ask myself questions that involve a lot of the use of “if”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s normal to be skeptical from time to time, hell, I’ve avoided a lot of dumb mistakes because of it.
However, when it gets to the point where it interferes with your relationship with loved ones, and when it causes you to be closed-off when it comes to simple small-talk, it’s a problem. When it causes you eat less because you read the nutritional information, it’s a problem.
I know why I have these thoughts. It’s the experience of seeing your mother getting backstabbed by very cynical and cowardly “friends” of hers throughout the early years of me attending high school. For perspective, imagine being in class and you get called to the front office because one of your mother’s friends asks you for a key to your house….but she smells like liquor…..and she’s being way too demanding about it.
Now take shady slime like that, and multiply it by 5. That’s five other people.
For those wondering why my mother met these losers, it’s because she used to have to attend a probation center. Sometimes she would have to spend the night there. Regardless, the people she met there (and yes I know this will sounds harsh), probably belong there for a good reason. And no, none of them abused me or were inappropriate to me. Instead, they gave me a reality check on how sleezy adults can be, and why I should even question my parent’s judgement.
With that all said, I am seeing a therapist about this. It’s such a slow process to balance out my skepticism for…well, nearly anything. It could be me simply getting ready to the job market once I’m out of college, but there’s no point in staying healthy, if I’m not watching out for myself mentally.
Tl;dr: I have trust issues because my mother made friends during her probation.
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