My wife had an affair and when I caught her I told her it turned me on thinking of her sucking and fucking other men. She called me a pervert and kicked me out. After a couple of days she finally answered my texts. I had told her that I was lying to test her and it really did bother me that she had an affair.
We got back together but every time I kiss her I think of his dick in her mouth and it excites me. Every time I go down on her I pretend he had just cum in her and I was licking it out. Sometimes after I cum in her I lick her pussy and pretend it is some other guys cum.
I know if I tell her she will get angry. I just keep hoping she will cheat again. I know I am fucked up but I can’t change what gets me off. I know our marriage can’t last and after we divorce how do I find a woman that will accept me as I am?
You aren’t the bad one, she’s just playing mind games with you. Here’s your biggest mistake, you let her kick you out and you shouldn’t have. She’s the one that cheated and even though you like the idea of being cuckhold she was the one who committed adultery. Her reaction to what makes you horny is an attempt to make herself feel superior. Take control man, you need to stop being a beta and become an alpha. TAKE CONTROL.
Agree with Sharon mostly. But even if you like being a cuck or similar, do it with someone else. Your wife is messed up and you probably won’t come out ahead. Protect yourself. Save $, separate accounts etc. then get set up and leave.
Leave her as. Soon as possible
i had this same experience with a past girlfriend. i haven’t found anyone willing to do it since then. but, i’m hoping i will soon!