So i usually try to cover everything up with lies and make people belive that my life is great and i feel compfy but that is all wrong SO VERY VERY WRONG i feel dreadfuly yet ive kept it to myself. ive tried to kill my self a lot and think About it every single day. ive had a Rough start in life itself…and it has left some srs scars i have been diagnosed with serious Trauma and Anxiaty. ive been to over 5 diffrent psychologists though out growing up. ive never had any Friends. and i never really felt happy i lack Emotion. idk who to tell this honestly as im sitting here typing this it is 12:50 AM and do not plan on sleeping. every day i feel so terebly lonely and lost. and the only time i actually have full hour Long conversations is when i am doing online RPG with random strangers who have never met me before. this is basically a call out to anyone who could help me get out of this hole. i Need help i want Friends i wanna be social i want to be open.. yet every time i try i fail HARD. i feel sick and feel like fainting evrytime i try to talk to someone. (i do not speak english it is not my main language so sorry for the miss spells etc but i just Need to let this out bc ive never been able to talk to someone ever since my childhood ive just bottled it all up)
like anna said “let it go” you be you the rest of the world will catch up eventually