My mother is the type of person that tears you down before trying to built you up again in her own image and will. She always wanted absolute control, perfect obedience. She thinks she can just bribe and buy your loyalty. She would lose it and go ape whenever she got a stark reminder of the reality of parenting.
I have found out that I got accepted in a position through a program I am part of, it pays less than a grand, but for me it’s more than I could imagine. A part of me is scared that I’m too much of a wimp to actually go and get the job, so I will remain in the house, because she spend hours of her life screaming and beating into me the idea that without her I’m nothing. But I want my life back. I want my freedom. And I want to leave and never come back.
By all accounts, it’s going to be hard and demanding. But it’s going to be mine and mine alone. I’m terrified and tempted, so very tempted to decline or just not show up. But I have to. I know as much.
I hope that in a month from now, this will be behind me. I hope that I won’t regret my decision, whichever this might be. God, I’m so scared.
I feel you Stanger. My family only knows how to compete with each other. I just want them to be happy about the things I have accomplished. We should all feel support from the ones close to us. Especially our parents.