I dated Charlie for 4 years. He has a very nice house but his yard sucks. He keeps it mowed, edged and weeded but nothing else. I bought a couple bags of fertilizer and used his spreader and went over his whole yard while he was at work. After a few goor rains his grass was a nice darker green. I told him what I did, he said “thanks, now instead of mowing weekly I get to mow twice a week and I work too much to do that.” I let him know I wanted to plant some nice bushes and do some landscaping, he said to leave his yard alone. I let him know I didn’t like his yard so plain. He said “go buy a house and work on your own yard” I live in an apartment. We had word over his smart ass attitude and I told him his laziness around his home will be a dealbreaker with us if he wasn’t careful. He told me he didn’t remember us making a deal. Where does that leave me? Should I break things off with him and move on or just live my life in limbo? He’s 54, I’m 52 and I thought we had a future together. I know neither of us are seeing anyone else.
You need to mind your own fucking business. You’re calling him lazy when he sounds like a work a holic.
Your words – “he keeps it mowed, edged and weeded”. It appears like the bare minimum is being done that fits into his schedule, not yours. Some guys don’t care about their yard and let it overgrow. Some hire it out. Yardwork may not be his therapy like it may be for you. Maybe if you had offered to take over some of the mowing (since you’re the one pushing to “beautify” the yard), he would have met you halfway. Instead, you insult him then use it as leverage to manipulate the relationship. Now he’s probably thinking about other dealbreakers you’ll find throw in his face.
How about just hiring a landscaper to take care of he yard, solves 2 issues, and you both will be happier.