I want to get this off my chest since I can’t tell anyone about this. I just want to unalive myself. My life was great I suppose. I had a stable job that I enjoyed doing, great friends and a partner who I love. But ever since my mom petitioned for me to move with her to a new country it all went downhill. Her reason was so that I can have better work opportunities but that would mean me leaving everything behind. I guess it’s easy for everyone to say that I should just refuse and I did but that just made me look ungrateful and that I was wasting this good opportunity. I’ve been here for 4 months now and I still don’t have a job like what my mother promised me. She told me that it’s easy to get a job here but not really. I feel so useless and lonely. I’ve started to push away my partner, have doubts on our relationship, and threatened to end it. It’s not really his fault but I just can’t stop thinking that they’re out there hooking up with other people since I’m away. I have been miserable since I got here and I just want it all to end.
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