I love my family, but I’m exhausted

Last year I left my job in order to take care of my family as my wife navigated a difficult mental health crisis. Things were just starting to take a turn for the better when she recovered a memory of CSA at the hands of a close family friend. She’s handling it as best she can, but the flashbacks are debilitating. She’s trying her best to keep a steady routine and go to work daily, but even on the best days she comes home completely exhausted and unable to move off the couch. And weekends have become just about her decompressing from the week she’s had. I understand that this is insanely hard for her to deal with, so I don’t hold it against her. But I’m just getting so very tired from emotionally supporting her, running all the errands, cooking, cleaning, making lunches, dealing with the extended family, making playdates, setting up doctor appointments, and doing everything else it takes to run the household.

I love my wife and kids, but the house is becoming a prison to me. I don’t have time to take care of myself; I’m too busy taking care of everyone else. My sleep has suffered, so I’m starting to find myself too tired to even eek out an hour at the gym a few times a week. I need to save that energy for the family. And as sick as it is, I find myself jealous of my wife in that she has a therapist and psychiatrist to help her through this, but I have no one. And I feel so guilty for feeling that way, which just makes everything worse. I feel like I’m starting to lose my grip on my sanity.

I would never abandon my family. When I made my marriage vows, I meant them. But I’m just so very tired and don’t know how much longer I can keep up this pace. I don’t know what to do any more. God help us.