I caught my aunt preparing to steal the nest egg my grandparents had. I got the money back and had to open a separate account with my name as power of attorney. (She made an account with her name JOINT, which meant if my grandmother had passed she legally owned all of it, despite the will so BE CAREFUL OF THIS TACTIC)
Once they passed on, I had to deal with a lot of legal red tape between banks and the government so it took about a year, which is normal. My mother complained ALL THE TIME about needing money etc. The rest were supportive. The aunt who tried to steal (and who had stolen the family farm & money many years before when my blood grandfather died), well she said literally nothing. Probably best.
However, the old account with her name on it still existed and the account was frozen when they passed and since she was JOINT on that account there was nothing I could do about it anyway.
So what did my mother do? Complain at me telling me that I had to go get it back from her and go after her legally. Like I am going to get a lawyer for only $1400 ($200 each once divided) and waste everyone’s time for a losing case. Fuck that.
What I didn’t know, is my grandmother cut me into the will for helping her for the last few years. I DIDN’T KNOW. HONESTLY. I was the only grandchild that visited and called and you know…CARED. So of course this was a big thing and one of my uncles told me I don’t deserve it.
Okay, fine. I really don’t fucking care about the money. It did what it needed to, it showed me who they all really were.
Let’s zero in on my mother. Didn’t help me with homework, didn’t encourage me. My young life was surrounded by drugs and biker gangs (I even have a famous “uncle” who was featured on a tv show about mobsters and gangsters. HE WAS THE FIRST EPISODE.) I got more love and encouragement from him until he was murdered.
Continuing on, she didn’t come to my high school graduation, tried to get out of my wedding, and when I was poised to move across the country, come to my going away party but kept leaving and then left early.
She gave my brother up for adoption, she had him after me. He grew up with a loving and supportive family and is actually a famous author now. Legit he travels for conventions and wrote for marvel as well. Because of my mothers manipulation to try and get him to talk to her she spread lies to me and he and I had a falling out. A few years later I emailed him apologizing and asking for a reconnection if he was okay with that. I found a reply email (no idea how I missed it for 4 months) where he told me he wanted to reconnect but that my mother was wanting to leave money in her will to his daughter. (All she has is a tiny house on swamplands that will be more of a liability when she goes. ) He said he thought it was another manipulation and told her she shold apologize to me for all of this. Of course I have not gotten one. I stated I didn’t know about the will but to be careful. I haven’t heard back from him. She tels me that her and my brother are in contact now. This was before I found his email, so that left me feeling great that he wouldn’t be talking to me, but was in contact with her, I had no context.
The first time I cut her off, it riddled me with anxiety but felt good to grow into myself. I had to. She is an antivaxer and would not stop screaming at me about it. Literally screaming. All I wanted (and asked for) is to agree to disagree so we can just live on. That’s when her emailing my husband demanding that he get me to not be vaccinated.
I just had major surgery. Before it, I was in pain…A LOT…and not like, oh I can handle this…like vomiting for days because it hurt so bad. Stress set the pain off. I told her this. It did not matter to her and she would argue and frustrate me. Last thing I heard from her was a bunch of anti-trans and “religion” can let her do what she wants.
I cut her off again.
It has now been 5 months. My uncle message me to contact her. I ignored it. Then I started getting texts from this woman I HAVE NEVER MET from my sperm donors side of the family (I don’t know him either, he is usually in jail or the streets) demanding me to contact my mother because she’s harassing the poor woman. She lied and siad I haven’t talked to her for over a year.
So I made a fake email and told her to knock it the fuck off and I won’t check this email again and I will contact her if I feel like it.
What the fuck have I done to deserve this? Since figuring out this web of lies surrounding me and getting her pressure off me, I hv asked people from when I was a kid until now (who met her) their thoughts because I have been gaslit for so long I have no idea what the fuck is up. Not one of them has something nice to say about her.
I’m not really posting this than for any other reason it gives me courage to keep her out of my life. I have to remain vigilant but Christmas is coming up and my guilt complex is so strong I am afraid I am going to capitulate to her and let her back in my life. I don’t want her.
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