So I knew someone about 3 years ago. We talked daily, knew the person’s name, but had never seen each other in person. All was well until I went off to college, and then there was a sudden shift. At first, I kinda waved it off, bc it was normal for her to have her not so chatty days, but eventually it was a little nerve-wracking (I get nervous I upset people on the daily). I had known her for years, and I would happily say she was my (at the time) bestest of best friends. It wasn’t until about 3/4ths into the semester when it happened, but out of nowhere, she vanished. No messages, no notes or goodbyes; just one night i was talking about some characters from a show I like, and the next morning, absolutely nothing. I waited for days for her to respond, as she has gone on a week long break from social media at times, but nothing. I grew a little more frantic, worried for her safety, worried that i had overstepped some sort of boundary, but nothing. I contacted mutuals, and all they got from her was an “going through something” before she was gone.
I went through the stages of greif for some reason. I got extremely depressed, to the point where I quit college because a) I wasn’t doing that great anyways, and b) I now had no one to talk to at all. For the next 3 months I was about as useful as a rotted pile of lard. Then, I got angry, resentful that she would just drop a friend like that. Next, I found new friends and tried to convince myself I was over her, but I wasn’t. Now, 3 years later, I sit in my room and check her social media, seeing that she’s alright, but bitter about the fact that this wasn’t the person I knew anymore. Her appearance had changed, and I no longer recognize her.
I have a new friend, he’s incredibly nice and we throw jabs at eachother. But every time i say ‘I love you, brother.’ I always remember what I would say before, ‘I love you, sis.’ It hurts. It hurts a lot and I don’t know how to fix it.
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