Hi, this is my first confession. I want to be better i truly do I dont know how to start but let me begin by saying im 14 i hope that doesnt matter but im a 14 year old girl and ive decided im Pansexual. Meaning i like all genders. Female, male, non-binary or gender fluid. Anything and everything is for me. Im not ashamed of my sexuality im more saddened that god doesnt acceot it, Ive tried to like guys only. And granted i still do like guys but ive inly ever had girlfriends, Sure online ive dated a few guys but never in real life. Anyways ive already had “sex” a few times. Mostly just mouth or hand ive never had a Male part inside of me. I think i have hypersexuality. I honestly dont know how to say no but in fairness i pushed for it to. By the time i was 12 me and my girlfriend were sucking each others boobs. 13th birthday i fingered her for the first and only time, we broke up i got a new girlfriend like almost a year later. We moved incredibly fast because i really didnt know how to say “No” so withing like a week or 2 of us being together i gave her multiple hickeys and i let her finger me as well as the other way around. I have a bad relationship with Sex. Speaking of sex the reason im doing this in the first place is because i have a weird obsession with rape. I honestly dont know whats wrong with me. But ive watched rape hentai videos and theres even this website called forcedceinma that i go on. Tonight i spent like 30-45 minutes watching hentai. My brain is so fucked up- i want to stop and never do it again. I was on another website before this one and i was told to do 56 Hail Mary’s and 4 Our fathers which i did but i know thats not enough. I want to be baptized and i want to change for the better. I dont go to church but i want a better relationship with god. I want to talk in a real confessional and i want to be baptized but im honestly terrified to ask my parents. Anyways yeah thats all i guess.. I honestly just want my brain in a better place
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