a friend asked if i was interested in dating her a few years back, and while i was, i had to turn her down because my life is in a rough spot and i wouldn’t be able to dedicate time to her, much less do anything about the distance, since we’re on opposite ends of a coast. a few years have passed and we’re still friends, she still flirts with me and i flirt back. a few months ago i decided to stop burying my feelings and enjoy the crush, but i’ve since realized just how strong my feelings are for her, and there’s nothing i can do till i finish the last few things keeping me in my current life situation. it’s driving me crazy, i can’t stop thinking about her, i love her, i love hearing her talk about things she enjoys, we talk about philosophy and art together; i want to be with her and hear her laugh and see her smile, i want to taste the food she sends me pictures of. love songs have suddenly been making more sense to me.
but if i say anything…i’d just be asking her to wait for me. and if i don’t say anything, there’s a chance she won’t be single by the time i’m finally available. i don’t know what to do, but i needed to say something or i’d burst. i just need to make it through a few more milestones and i’ll be a functioning adult who can travel to see her. i just hope i’m not too late.
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