I once put a few laxatives in my boss’s coffee to punish him for treating my friend at work like a slut. She’s not but he always call her one. He clearly wants her. Within a half hour he was taking a dump and I was pleased. He went throughout the day and I couldn’t help laughing.
She came over to me saying what is going on with him? I said I guess he had to go a lot. Probably too much steak, eggs and coffee. Serves him right. Evidently, the mask I usually wear couldn’t get past her. She asked me what I did? I smiled. I said it was nothing and he’d be fine.
She smiles then walked back to her desk. He was back and aching like the garbage he has always been. Starts calling her names again. I walked over and asked wtf his problem was. I tend to say odd phrases that seem childlike but are for effectiveness to evoke a specific reaction. I sling a few of these at him.
He just stared at me and called me a freak. Nothing I haven’t heard before. I felt the need for some reason to say just because you clearly have no penis, is no reason to call women names for no reason. He grabbed me by the throat and I started laughing.
I did nothing and laughed even louder. My laugh can sound psychotic as it’s similar to the jokers’ but I could care less. Amazingly, it’s not on purpose in sounding that way. He fired me and I walked out smiling.
She asked me out later that day and said I should go to HR and report him. I said guy is a joke as it is, what’s the point? We went out later that night and had a good time. He was at the same restaurant. What are the odds?
I decided to let bygones be bygones and said I was sorry for making him crap all day and saying the truth that he had no penis. I relayed ghat he won but that if he keeps calling her names that I was gonna put your head on a stick. Have a good one. I smiled and walked away.
This likely is not a normal thing one in a tie and lacks says nicely and calmly go a person sitting down staring at him. I guess I’m not a normal person. A fair assessment. What I found funny was how easy it was to shut him up. For a guy 6’5” and big he was like a little cat.
I still wonder about the slut comments. She never slept or dated anyone there and I asked her because of his comments. He clearly was stalking her and listening to her phone calls and maybe assuming things for whatever reason. I also wonder if he’ll find a new girl to start it up with as he’s a child.
I just wonder who will mess with him to make him crap his pants again or worse. The latter makes me smile but it bothers me that trash like this is in every workplace. I’ve worked at many. There’s always one or two without any penis. Is it surprising? Perhaps I’ll be there to laugh again. Somebody’s got to do it. Wonder how my chuckle will be this time or he’ll bite.
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