Accept myself is easier said than done. In my early teens, and later I had strong feelings for certain girls. One was a junior high track star, and we exchanged kisses. She moved and I spiraled into depression. I couldn’t talk about it. I left for college with a hole in my heart. After college I went to work as a cashier at a bank. I met a fourteen year old girl and took advantage of her. She was persistent, so much so her mother told her to leave me alone. But she filled the hole in my heart.
Eight years between fourteen and twenty two is a huge difference, and illegal. A friend, a coworker who knew about my obsession pointed out, technically it was statutory rape, even if there was no penetration. I was blind to any consequences, and became careless. Her parents decided that they needed a restraining order. The prosecutor thought jail. By requesting a restraining order, they tipped off the law and order. Consensual didn’t matter, breaking her heart didn’t matter, ruining my life didn’t matter. Child molesting, perversion of a minor. They stayed away from statutory rape . Five years, forced my lover on the stand, she screamed and yelled at them, but her parents had to tell the truth under oath. Five years, and a registered offender.
When I was released on good behavior, waiting for me was my sweet Caroline and her parents. We got married, she was seventeen and legal with her parent’s consent.
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