My drunk assed sister lost her keys. Can’t lock her house.

. Can’t start her cars. She has one copy of everything. That’s because she always loses the rest. Because she’s always drunk.
So she asks for my help. Where could they be? Let’s see. To save you listening to it all. She was in the woods for who knows why. At a bunch of stores. Wants everyone to go look. She thinks she lost them where she shit.
There you go. What bathroom did you use. She shit her pants and just kept going. Can’t remember where.
God has a sense of humor. I did charitable work. He gives me a bad disease. She shits all over everyone for her whole life. Never helps anyone. Drunk dope head. Yet she’s still healthy. Flipping people off. Smoking. No mask during Covid. Shitting her pants in a store. Can’t tell you which store.
If you shit your pants so often you can’t remember where you shit your pants.
No. She has no disabilities or health problems. She has excellent health. She’s smart. She just likes to party.
Amazing she ended up with more than me in life.
God has a sense of humor.
Hey kid. You will spend your whole life doing good. I’ll give you a disease.
Your drunk assed sister whose kids you raised. I’ll bless her with excellent health.
Oh I don’t wish her bad health. Even though she screwed me over forever. It just makes you wonder if God’s up in Heaven drunk and smoking a doobie.
Hey God, why do I have the disease? I don’t know man. I’m drunk off my ass. Got any chips.