My secret life

I have always masturbated, and enjoyed cross dressing, and always been attracted to older women, so when I was younger, around 17-18 and I’m now in my forties, whenever either my grandmother or my aunt was away on holiday I would go to their houses and get dressed up in their clothes and then wank myself off, if I was in my aunts house I would wear her knickers and a bra, and also wear a dress and then put on her puffer coat and then wank and cum over the coat, I was also using a pair of her knickers to gag myself, and when I was at my grandmother’s house I always got dressed up in a night dress and then put on her quilted housecoat and I was gagged with a pair of knickers and I had a bra tied over them and sometimes I was also using my grandma’s quilted bed jacket as a hood, then I would have a good wank about fucking my grandmother, I would always spunk on her housecoat, I did occasionally use her bed jacket as my cum rag, I had a fantasy about having my grandmother tied up in her quilted housecoat and then she was going to be blindfolded and gagged with her spunk covered bed jacket and the I was going to fuck her and then fuck her in her bottom and then remove her gag and force her to suck my cock, even now I have a collection of housecoats and bed jackets that I use when wanking, and I also dress up my sexdoll in them and fantasise that it is my grandmother and sometimes my aunt.

What do you think?

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Death gives me comfort. I don’t know if I really want to die.

I am a bad person