Sometimes, I wish I were S/A’d again. There’s something in me that has an ick of S/A and r@pe, but I can’t help but long for that. The way he traumatized me caused me to act this way. And now I feel truly disgusting, knowing that I get turned on by thinking about this again. I am a victim of COCSA and S/A inside of my school with another male trying to “seduce” me. I hate myself, and sometimes I wish I didn’t exist.
*Name is not required.