Scared of Intimacy

I’m utterly terrified of intimacy. All of it.

I’ve been dating someone for just over a year, online. We’re moving in together soon, and I don’t know how to express that I’m scared of intimacy. I like the idea of it. I enjoy reading about it. But it feels wrong. Really, really wrong. It feels sinful to want to be loved, appreciated, or touched. I can hardly even enjoy romance fiction/smut anymore without feeling deeply disgusting and wrong. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just want to have a normal relationship, have sex and be…okay. But god, it’s scary.