Severe heatings on garbage

A couple decades ago I got away with severe vigilante bearings, There were 6 in all but one was an anomaly in the rape of my friend 17 years ago. I broke this piece of detritus in half because he got away with it and laughed in court about it. I only waited a year before liungijg on him. What I did I don’t fully regret but what I left of him still bothers me,

The previous 5 were all when I was unstable and severely angry about people who got away with hurting women. So in turn, I hurt them..badly, I essentially left them for dead, I figured they were just out cold but from how insanely manic I was as I firmly believe I was letting out my adolescent rage of what happened to me on these pieces of crap, it was justified. It was in my view as I always believed I took out the trash, but I also lnew and know I was no saint either for the multiple acts themselves.

Looking back decades later as I was in my early 20s and a completely different person back then, I realize I’m a vigilante or was, I was waiting for the police to do their jobs. Nothing,. So I am left with a few theories. One.) I am really good at it. Two.) I was extremely lucky or 3) since I didn’t live in these cities and my girlfriends did, it was easy to escape detection.

There is a possible fourth in that even if these strangers did not know or recognize me (the one who taped my friend knew me but not by name) perhaps they were embarrassed as a shorter guy with an innocent face ripping them in half.

I regret how much I went off on this would be garbage but also know I got off on spilling their blood. I’m still surprised I pulled them all off so easily but am disgusted with myself in the fact it happened more than once. Was I a bad person, or a guy with rage issues looking to exact wrongs is anybody’s guess.

I have nightmares about my becoming unhinged all those many years ago and wonder if I ever lost it now if it could occur again. I doubt it as I mind my own business and am more of a loner in older age but it was so easy back then. I

I also still look almost 20 years younger and unassuming. It haunts me because I did those things. Sure they were garbage but what in hell am I? Forever haunted perhaps.