i cheated on my emotionally abusive partner when we were together before. and although he hurt me a lot and scarred me, i shouldn’t have done that. i should have just left, but i was so attached, that finding someone else was what i believed would help me leave him. still, im not proud of what i did at all. we would often break up on and off, and during those off times i would find someone else. then get back to him, and acted like nothing happened. but even once when we were still technically together, i was speaking to guys. in my heart at that point, i already knew we weren’t going to be together for long, but instead of breaking up to see other guys i did it behind his back. i ended up being just as toxic as him. the worst thing is that i didn’t feel that bad in the moment, it felt like i was allowed to, because of the shit he did to me. in my heart i felt like i was already single, because he never truly understood me. but still, i broke one of my values and i never thought i would have. i hope that doesn’t make me a cheater forever. i know in my heart that i wouldn’t do that to someone who truly treasured me. either way, i am sorry. please forgive me.
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