Tried getting into contact with my ex and I think ex friends. They won’t even talk to me. Our shared friends won’t even talk to me. I just hate myself for not moving on instantly. And I feel shitty for even thinking about them. It’s to the point I’m on the verge of hurting myself again, because I can’t handle feeling this way anymore. At least then the pain isn’t in my head anymore. everything hurts too much. I just lost the one good thing in my shitty life and I ruined it all. I was shitty. I didn’t let them express themselves, because I’m gay. I guess wanting a boyfriend and wanting a cis guy is a crime. I just hate thinking about them at all. It all hurts so much. I don’t know what to do.
*Name is not required.