The lesser known but largest community of lesbians

I am gay, lesbian, 34 and live in a large metropolitan city. My job is in Human Services, and maybe because I am a lesbian who is uncomfortable with this lifestyle I end up counseling other young lesbians, and sometimes older lesbians, who feel as I do.

I HATE what has happened the last few years. NO, lesbians do not want to be OUT there. It is hard enough without being ‘identified’. In my experience, half of the lesbians I work with are married or have been married to men. Why? Because they want what all women want, a home, children, a nice life. Very hard to do when you are coupled as lesbians.

I myself walked down the isle, more precisely showed up at the court house, and married a man from my work. He offered me security, and a nice life, something as a social worker I can’t provide. In exchange I agreed to have children. It scared me, but it was so easy, and I love my children. I have a network of lesbians to work with, and I’m in demand for lesbians trying to make their life work. Once you get past the lust period, then what? My advise is always the same, accept that you are a lesbian, no different than being short or tall, be open to accepting a life married to a man, be totally receptive to being a mother, it is the miracle that makes you a woman. Don’t follow open, out, activist lesbians. If anyone has a problem, they do.

Maybe just maybe you really fall in love. Maybe. But for sure you can learn to love a husband. And let me tell you from experience, a man who loves you will be there for you. So the sex isn’t what you dream of, but the sex is fine, it is actually rewarding, there is something about being a woman to man. An orgasm from a man is quite different. Do I have a lady friend? Well yes, platonically speaking. Well we do share a kiss and a hug. I helped her find a husband.