Accepting my curse

I have been in therapy since I was fifteen. At fifteen I had a same sex relationship with another girl and we were found by my mother in full engagement, head between her legs. It was my first time and hers too. There were no feelings that we were doing something wrong, we were charged by sexual desire. I wanted to eat her, plain and simple. We knew about lesbian behavior, and we knew from other girls. We knew about eating out and sucking titties. We knew about making out. Now it was our turn. But to my mother it was totally off limits and I was sent to therapy.

The therapist was a lesbian herself and she was supposedly helping young girls turn against it. Wow, you eat pussy and you are telling me not to? Yes, that was the line. Lesbian behavior was called acting out, but it was better than getting pregnant. But for me it wasn’t a one time thing, as I got older I was more and more falling for girls, some I knew from school, other’s were in the neverland world of entertainment. I wanted pussy, pure and simple.

My mother gave up on me and I went off to college to get as much pussy as I could. I was oversexed and active. I kissed some girls who didn’t want it. I couldn’t understand that, so I kissed them again. I ate a couple of girls who said I forced them into it. I ate them again and again, they may have wanted to claim it was force but they opened their legs for it. I picked lesbians, I did not pick straight girls. Even if some of the girls didn’t know they were lesbians at the time. Along the way I met Amy. she was an only child of a college professor and musician mother. She was so lesbian it hurt, her mother was also a lesbian. It was the first time I met a girl who’s lesbian mother lived with a husband.

To me that was the solution. Find a man who would put up with a lesbian wife and let her have children. Such a man wasn’t hard to find. He thought it was funny. I got pregnant the night we got married, I could not wait for it. I got pregnant right after I gave birth and pregnant again with twins for four kids in preschool and diapers. For a lesbian I was very productive, almost enough for my mother to forgive I was lesbian. Amy stayed with me, she was the dear aunt to the babies, one hundred percent lesbian she had nothing to do with my husband. Not even a friendly kiss.

Today we live in Oregon, where my husband is a pharmacist. We live in a country property with a big house for mom and dad and aunt Amy. Our kids are well onto high school and Amy is the second set of hands that has made it all possible. Sometimes she regrets not hatching one of her own, but she is resigned to staying out of the hands of my husband. I should add that Amy received each one of my children, including the twins. It was her finding that she wanted to be a nurse after all.