Confessions

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    I pee on towels out of fear.

    It’s disgusting honestly but it stems mostly from my depression and paranoia. At night, I’m too scared to actually get up and go to the restroom. Even during the day sometimes. I’m too scared I’ll turn the corner or flick on the light to see something awful and grotesque staring back at me. When I […] More

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    internet life is boring

    recently internet life is kinda boring to be honest, it’s so… just so centralized. really the only websites a person visits are only 5 to 10 sites (instagram, youtube, tiktok and so on) i really just do miss the days where you would actually explore new sites, instead of just watching videos. perhaps it’s time […] More

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    Obsessed

    After we got married my wife confessed to me that she had sex with a previous boyfriend. She said they did it a lot. Now I am obsessed with the thought of it and wish I could have watched them. I want to see her with another man fucking her. I masturbate a lot thinking […] More

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    I like fantasize mental Illness and injury

    I like to fantasize about having mental illness or injury, especially showing others. When I’m alone I like to talk to myself and act like I have an eating disorder, or I’m being physically abused, and/or pretend I’m talking to someone about it and saying it’s no big deal. I’ll imagine being around people with […] More

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    Maybe it’s me…

    I’m 53 years old and I still DO NOT want to be the grownup in the room. Both parents and one older sibling are deceased (baby of 5 here!), and I’m suddenly hearing all the warnings they gave me about all manner of things (health, neatness, finance – I like to think I’m doing decently […] More

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    Circus music

    I don’t know what it is but hearing certain types of circus music or carnival music brings up a weird feeling. A mix of nostalgia, darkness, and sexuality. I feel like maybe there was some sort of sexual trauma that happened when I was very young and repressed the memory of. More

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    Thongs/panties

    I’m a Masculine guy/ body builder jock type body… I’m40 and I secretly have a thong panty fetish.. so much so that I wear them beneath my jeans Daily… mens thongs or womens panties doesn’t matter… More

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    Drowning

    For the past few years my mental health was like a ship drifting on the ocean. Once on top once on bottom. But it was alright since I felt I was on steady ground. But lately I don’t really reach the top of the waves. I lost interest in the things that bought me joy, […] More

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    period

    i’ve been on my period for over a month now. but if the doctor prescribes me any drug with extra estrogen in it, i’m gonna refuse to take it. i’m sick and fucking tired of all the estrogen in my body already. i’m not having any more More

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    Age isn’t just a number it’s a goal.

    I have lately been feeling like the biggest failure to ever exist on earth. using dark humor to cover up how ashamed I feel with how little I have come to accomplishing my dreams and knowing that I am all alone and all by myself in feeling this way. I hate people trying to tell […] More

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    Everyday robots and sheer disgust

    I fake things to pretend I’m like the rest. It’s evident to most that I am not if you get to know me. You have to do these things to feel like you don’t stand out, even if you do. I am in my late 40s now, but many men, even younger, think I’m still […] More

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    i want job

    These days i have been feeling low. I am doing every possible thing to survive. But only thing i am getting is sadness and negativity. Coming to a different place alone to start a new life was biggest step i took but its been like 3 months i have been searching for any work to […] More

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