I’m 34. When I was 18, I finally managed to get my first girlfriend )who went to a different school). I was terrified that she would lose interest and either cheat or drop me for someone else. That relationship came to an end over a year later because I let this fear be known and she interpreted it as me accusing her of cheating on me as soon as we got together.
What eats me up to this day is that I was kind of a hypocrite. In one of my classes was a girl who was much prettier than her. On our last day of school, there was a party for all the graduating students. I had a very intrusive thought of asking this girl for some alone time and justified it to myself with my girlfriend never finding out because she didn’t go to our school. I let this thought pass without acting on it. I never even approached the other girl, but sometimes, late at night, I remember. I despise cheaters and cheating, so this has haunted me for 16 years.
This confession is the only time I have ever told anyone about it.
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