I am happily married to a woman but have secret desires to have sex with men. I wish I could be outwardly gay but can’t due to family and my wife. I told a good female friend who now teases me in a nice way about being gay. Sometimes she’ll say something about a hot guy and just give me a look. A look that says “you know what I’m talking about”. She does this in front of her husband and my wife. I secretly love it and wish she would do it more often. It is so validating.
You just need to be you. Love an honest life.