I feel awkward

At my job I made a request to a supervisor in a different department to be allowed to work for them instead of where I work right now and I didn’t let my current supervisor know that I was going to do that beforehand and she called me out on it and now I feel ashamed awkward deceitful disrespectful immature unprofessional prideful selfish self righteous insecure impatient unloving unmerciful ungodly ungrateful irresponsible lazy insensitive hypocritical unfaithful manipulative divisive I lied I was anxious afraid worried paranoid I had resentment I overreacted I was blame-shifting and I feel like I was very tired when I was talking to her and that I was stumbling with my words and talking slow and I felt like I was caught red handed and trying to pull the wool over my supervisor’s eyes