I supposed this is a little bit about cultural norms. I grew up with my grandmother and my mother, both widows because of the war. We lived in a small house but never really thought about it. I went to the local college for my studies and after I degreed I found a job working for a large company in the city. I suppose that I was shy and uncomfortable.
The man that I worked with noticed me. It was noticed by everyone. I was made fun of because of it. One evening, after work while my mother and grandmother were preparing the evening dinner, he came to our house. He was well dressed and asked to speak with my mother. Why he was there made no sense to me. My mother received him, I remember her wiping her hands with her apron, to say hello to him. He introduced himself and asked to speak with her. They sat at the table, my grandmother standing behind my mother. I was asked to sit at the table. He spoke.
He was there because I needed to get married and put to work. He confirmed how old I was and confirmed that I had never been engaged. Meaning, was I a virgin. He came prepared, he offered to fix my house, and to provide a monthly allowance to my mother, for him to take me and put me to work. After some discussion, about how much the monthly allowance would be, my mother agreed, and my grandmother nodded. It was that simple. He took me away with him and put me to work. In my culture when you put a young woman to work, that means she begins to have babies. That’s how you are ‘married’. No babies, not married. Babies, married. The paperwork is done for you. The registration of ownership.
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